Why is the topic of confidence so complicated? Because self-confidence, by definition, describes how you feel about yourself: “a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities and judgment.” Like other feelings, your self-confidence may not be based on rational or objective criteria.
If only simple statements like “fake it ’til you make it” could make you feel more self-confident, you can avoid exploring why you lack confidence in the first place. And if platitudes worked, imagine how much more self-confidence you’ll have after reading much longer quotes:
“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” – Norman Vincent Peale
“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” – Helen Keller
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie
Feeling better? Any more confident? Probably not, and that’s because quotes, while often taken as meaningful truth, lack context or actionable advice applicable to you. (As you may have noticed, I love using quotes for entertainment purposes!)
What does it say about me that my favorite quotes about self-confidence reference having more than what’s justified?
“It is best to act with confidence, no matter how little right you have to it.” – Lillian Hellman
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” – Mark Twain
Reading these quotes makes me feel better because I find them humorous and they affirm my ambivalence toward this entire topic, not because they improve my self-confidence.
Focused on motivation, performance and leadership, the entire industry of self-improvement treats confidence as something to be acquired and developed, or conversely, something you can lose. Treating confidence as a skill means someone can profit from promises of improvement. Meanwhile, psychologists debate whether self-confidence is a personality or ability trait, or lies somewhere in between.
Where does self-confidence come from, and how is it measured? Can it be given or taken away? Before delving further into your self-confidence and how that’s quantified, let’s take a step back and think about your confidence in someone else. What influences your decision to trust that person? Your personal/professional relationship and previous experiences? Their position, qualifications and past performance? An endorsement or recommendation? Their enthusiasm and positivity? Their persuasive way of communicating? The appearance of success?
“It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.” – Leo Tolstoy
“A delusion is something that people believe in despite a total lack of evidence.” – Richard Dawkins
“It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.” – Carl Sagan
The origins of the word “con” should make you question: Are you inspired or deluding yourself? “To con someone is to deceive or take advantage through fraud or trickery after winning the person’s confidence.”
An earlier version was published by Beauty Cast Network.